A Nurse’s Opposing View To RESOLVE’s National Infertility Awareness Week® – Blog #2

Yesterday on Easter Sunday and during Passover, we talked about a balance during these special religious holidays that may lead us to freedom by the completion of the first day of National Infertility Awareness Week (NIAW). We talked about how RESOLVE spoke about how couples can relieve themselves of feelings of inadequacy and shame while experiencing fertility issues and how speaking openly about these challenges and sharing them with others before they are ready may not be the best route to take.

For fundraising purposes for those with infertility, having their coming out parties to speak to family members, friends, and insurance companies, as well as their bosses, can be traumatic when others do not understand their situations and cannot empathize with them.

As suggested by RESOLVE, asking employers for better healthcare coverage to deal with the high costs of fertility treatments, such as IVF, may not be received with open arms, adding to the stressors and stresses for those without coping strategies and mechanisms in place.

I believe, through my own personal and professional experiences with infertility and miscarriages, my private healing began from within on my personal journey with the help of healthcare professionals and trusted family and friends.

Besides suggesting that participants in the #InfertilityUncovered movement should encourage grass root advocacy through self-expression, it was intimated that this would help couples cope better to overcome shame. I suggested that couples should first have these coping skills beforehand to help them become free of the shackles that bind them in society and in their families.

RESOLVE referred to infertility as a disease. I think of it as a dis-ease or a symptom of imbalance that exists, although endometriosis or PCOS are sometimes common denominators in an infertility diagnosis, and treatment may be covered by insurance as a result.

Rather than referring to the terminology of “infertility awareness” I like to think of it in reverse as “fertility consciousness.” I spoke about it on a YouTube video, TV, radio, and on my Facebook page, simply because a reversal in a way you perceive your own fertility could make a difference in the way you conceive a child naturally or with IVF.

These changes in perspectives could assist couples to begin to see themselves and their capabilities of fertility consciousness within their own making as not only unique but holistic in body, mind, spirit and emotion that is aligned with nature.

To find out more about fertility consciousness and how it works in my program, Metamorphosis: Fertility Enhancement Coaching, view my Facebook page: Fertility Enhancement Coaching, where you can gain a new way of looking at yourself and others through MindPower .

For more about my work, please look for my next blog tomorrow. Hope you have a nice evening.  I welcome your input today as always.

 

 

 

A Nurse’s Counter-View To RESOLVE’s National Infertility Awareness Week® – Blog #1

Today, April 21, is the start of National Infertility Awareness Week (NIAW), sponsored by Resolve, and it coincides with Easter Sunday and Passover this year. These two religious celebrations both symbolize freedom. The Christians honor the agony of Jesus and his Resurrection from the dead so that his followers can be free. For me, as a Christian, it is an uplifting time of joy and peace. My husband, who is a Jew, celebrates Passover, which is a story of freedom from bondage for his people that can extend far beyond religious boundaries. Everyone, regardless of spiritual beliefs, can relate to becoming free from something that is holding them back, such as fertility challenges.

I received an e-mail informing me of National Infertility Awareness Week, since I am a healthcare professional who works with natural fertility enhancement with my holistic program: Metamorphosis: Fertility Enhancement Coaching. I read that “the goal of the week is to raise awareness about infertility, to encourage grassroots advocacy, and help couples with infertility cope with their disease.”

According to the promoters at Resolve, it is a time for those who are infertile to have a “coming out of the closet party” to share the obstacles of their family building journey with family members and friends, if they wish. This encouragement of self-expression is meant to help the fertility challenged to not feel ashamed.

As a person who once experienced fertility challenges having 4 miscarriages, I take issue with the goals listed above. First of all, I am sure that all those who are diagnosed with infertility are aware of it. They do not need to increase their awareness of infertility, in my opinion, but should increase their fertility awareness. There is no need to broadcast fertility issues or to ‘come out’ in an open forum, at least not for the sole purpose of advocacy.

One’s fertility, I believe, is a private matter that can be discussed with empathetic healthcare professionals and with friends and family members who have experienced similar challenges in their lives for they will understand what you are going through. Not everybody will, making matters worse.

I remember not discussing my fertility journey after I had a miscarriage during my work day as a visiting nurse. The miscarriage occurred at a senior housing facility in the lobby bathroom where I worked. I felt ashamed and never discussed it with anyone or even acknowledged it until years later. This is because I believed it was the result of a ski accident during the previous weekend. It was my fault. Since I was a nurse, I blamed myself and thought I should have known better not to go skiing when I thought I might be pregnant.  This was before home testing was available, and you had to visit with a doctor for a pregnancy test.

For years I would wake up crying in the middle of the night on the anniversary of this miscarriage and 3 others that came later on. Finally, I was able to become free of this bondage, when having a D&C and by using self-hypnosis and MindPower, releasing all the traumas of the past associated with infertility that were holding me back.

Even with this, when I recorded my story on a You Tube video last year, I had to repeat it twice because I got all choked up just talking about it years later. Fortunately, these negative feelings only lasted a few minutes with the help of the passage of time and with the assistance of the videographer who encouraged me to continue on for the benefit of others who have similar challenges.

So my issue here with Resolve’s recommendation of encouraging couples to ‘come out’ has to do with the readiness of individuals to talk about the emotionally laden topic of infertility and their ability to handle it. Without coping strategies and mechanisms in place that are self-supportive and self-nurturing, especially with a high rate of depression and anxiety associated with these issues, there may be negative ramifications of discussing it openly with others, which Resolve overlooks in the marketing of their fundraising project: #InfertilityUncovered movement.

This is the first of 7 blogs during NIAW to discuss alternate ideas and methods to those promoted by Resolve that address infertility and to show you ways that you can reduce stress and improve natural fertility by using the power of your mind.

For those celebrating Easter Sunday or Passover, I extend my best wishes for a blessed day!

Have Faith In Your Fertility

Is it a mystery why infertility remains a growing phenomenon around the globe when, from generation to generation throughout the ages, females have faced toxic rhetoric and assaults on their feminine procreative capabilities? This occurs to such an extent that women, especially those in their reproductive years, are beaten down so low that they lose hope and lack the resilience to get back on the balance beam of life. Over time, such oppression takes its toll and negatively impacts fertility.

We may believe that, as women, we have made great strides towards equality. However, we do not have to look back far in the history of humankind to see that progress is limited when it comes to abuse of our reproductive powers, even in the 21st century. Take for example a disrespectful  incident that occurred in 2015 when presidential candidate, Donald Trump, was displeased with Megyn Kelly from CNN who pressed him about misogynistic, sexist comments he made in the past, calling women, “fat pigs, dogs, slobs, and disgusting animals.” He commented: “You could see there was blood coming out of her eyes. Blood coming out of her wherever.”

In this Animal Farm worldview that is prevalent in our society, all animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others.  Trump’s comments were not only an affront to women and their reproductive capabilities, but they affect women’s balance and their psyches as procreators. It can have a profound negative impact on women of reproductive years, but worse than that, it impacts younger females, such as teens, when they hear such disparaging remarks about their normally functioning bodies. This holds true especially in light of the recent trial for molestation of gymnasts by the US Olympic doctor and rampant claims of sexual assault in our society, as witnessed through recent testimonies of abused movie stars, athletes, and teenagers.

Fortunately for us, we can look back in our history to see an example of how a woman, beleaguered by a feminine condition of hemorrhage, was able to heal when confronted by derision in society. It takes place in the Bible story of the “Bleeding Woman.”  It is a story of hope and resiliency, where she rebounded from adversity.

For twelve years she had bled and was under the care of many doctors, but to no avail. Instead of getting better, she got worse. When she heard that Jesus was coming, she came up behind him in a crowd, expecting that if she touched his cloak, she would be healed. After placing her hand on the cloak, she immediately was mindful that her body healed, and the bleeding stopped. Jesus felt the power go out from him. She was trembling in fear, when she told him what had happened. He said to her:  “Your faith has healed you.  Go in peace and be freed from your suffering.”

This woman in the Gospel story was considered a menstruating woman and was ceremonially unclean. Because of this predicament, she could not go into the temple and suffered social and religious isolation. However, she had the faith to take it upon herself to heal. I assume she was sick and tired of hemorrhaging, and she was probably weakened by anemia.

You, as women looking to enhance your fertility consciousness in today’s world, may be skeptical of the power of this Gospel story because it happened centuries ago, and you do not see it as having any significance in your lives now. Jesus is not going to walk into a crowd in front of you, so you can actually touch his cloak, so why get invested into something that is foreign to you, especially if you are a non-believer or follow a different religious sect? The good news that I am giving you here is that you already have what it takes to heal yourself. It is innate within us all. You just have to learn how to access your power of the subconscious mind. If you are still a skeptic, I encourage you to read the works of Joseph Murphy, PhD, so you can better understand how you can help yourselves.

In his book, The Power of the Subconscious Mind, Murphy, who earned the title of Doctor of Divinity, explained the mechanism for healing that took place in Gospel passages. When sick persons came to Jesus, they were healed by their own faith and great expectancy, together with his faith and understanding of the healing power of the subconscious mind. His command, “Your faith has healed you,” was his appeal to the subconscious of his followers that changed the negative destructive patterns there to positive ones. With one universal subjective mind, the resultant healings were automatic responses to a mental change within those healed. They had “Expectant Minds” and believed that healing could take place, and it did.

Today, women can continue this same tradition of self-healing female conditions, such as endometriosis, Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, so they can grow more fertile, by using the power of the subconscious mind. This strength is already within you. All you need do to champion your cause is to learn how to access it and to follow the examples of the hemorrhaging woman and the great boxer, Jack Dempsey, who said:

“A champion is someone who gets up, when he can’t.”

To find out more about how to unleash the power of the subconscious mind and to rebound when you think you can’t, I invite you to visit the rest of my website  and to listen my radio interviews on fertility enhancement coaching.

 

 

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Go Forth and Be Fertile!

Adam and Eve In Garden of Eden by Peter Wenzel in Vatican Museum Pinacoteca

After reading my last post about my experience with a miscarriage, when the doctor told me that my pregnancy was “all in my imagination,” I feel a fleeting sense of sadness, as I did when I wrote about it last week. However, with such exploration into my reproductive past, I know that I have the opportunity to grow from it and to realize that I was mindful of my fertility back then, and I am glad for it because my dreams have come to fruition. Although doctors told me I was infertile, I no longer accept that badge of “dishonor” that was foisted upon me with a diagnosis, for I birthed 4 healthy children by balancing out my body, mind, and spirit, without the use of drugs or treatments.

As I look back, each of the 4 miscarriages were different in circumstance, but they all hurt. For many years I did not deal with them consciously and pushed them down deep within to protect myself, but they would pop up in my dreams on the day of the miscarriage, like clock-work. I would dream about them subconsciously and wake up in the middle of the night, crying and upset, not immediately knowing why. Years later I had the opportunity to release all traumas relating to miscarriages so now I have distant memories that are more nurturing to my feminine psyche and to my lost ones. I accomplished this by using the power of my creative mind and by having an actual D&C, where my womb, both figuratively and literally, was healed.

However, the journey to look for the root causes of my challenges with fertility continues and is directed by guidance from the Universe, so I can remember who I am as a procreator and as a woman. Looking back to my future as a creative person is a positive growth experience for me, and I encourage others to do the same. This is why I am sharing my personal stories with you. You do not have to be in actual therapy to do this exploration, but it is helpful to talk about it with a professional.

Recently, I had an experience in a Manhattan church relating to a root cause of my challenges with fertility that is unique to my personal history as a Catholic girl, growing up in Queens, NY.  It occurred on my wedding anniversary, which was the day of the Women’s March for Equality, 2018, that took place in many cities around the world. This epiphany occurred during a sermon at a Catholic Mass when the priest proclaimed that a woman’s body is not her own to use for her own purposes. He said a woman’s body is solely a vessel to procreate according to God’s plan.

I felt offended by the priest’s comment and wanted to stand up and shout, What right do you have to say that to me? How would you, as a man, know what my body’s purpose is as a female?  But of course, I did not stand up and shout it out. It would have been deemed inappropriate. Instead, I sat in the pew, with my mind drifting to the Bible passage, Genesis 2:22, that tells the story of how “woman” was taken from the rib of Adam and was brought to him. Man was created first, and woman came in second. How ironic is it, I thought, that from the point of their creation forward, women had the job of procreating children and still do today, for biological reasons.

In the Garden of Eden, where fertile seed abounded, Eve was blamed for tempting Adam to eat the forbidden fruit, and as punishment, women were forever cursed with the pains of childbirth. Does this blame that women feel resonate with readers with regard to fertility consciousness? As women, we unconsciously get the repeated message that we are not equal to men by virtue of their own male proclamations. “Woman” is inherently weak, subordinate, evil, and inferior to man because she was created second.

After I left church, I could not shake the feeling of oppressiveness. The light lite up in my head:  Could this be the basis of how women live in a man’s world and lose fertility consciousness, get knocked off balance physically and mentally, and forget who they are as procreators?  Maybe some of you reading this story have this sense of knowing, too, deep down inside. I felt the scar of trauma because I am a woman, who in the past was the property of man and the target of the Inquisition.

Whether you believe in these Gospel stories that some consider patriarchal and misogynistic is irrelevant here. It is okay for you to believe what you wish. The point I am making is that the vestiges of its impact on women remain in our common vernacular today. For example, women call menstruation the “curse.” There is self-blame to such an extent that some battered women believe it is their husband’s right and duty to abuse. This is apparent to me when I work with female clients in my private practice as a professional nurse, peak performance coach, and clinical hypnotherapist.

As women, we may want to keep what happened to us in the past as secrets for our own protection. This is understandable, for re-experiencing the traumas hurts. That’s why we bury them. This defense, however, could lead to infertility and other health issues. Today, during the “Age of Women,” taking back our power in the “Me Too Movement,” is an ideal time to revisit our pasts, so we can move forward and realize the fruits of our labor.

So, is it time for you to rewind?  Remember: “The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.”

To find out more about how I became fertile, by using the power of my creative mind, I invite you to listen to the podcasts of my interviews at All Business Media FM.

 

 

Fertility Consciousness: What It Is and What It Means To YOU!

In my last blog post, I mentioned the concept of  ”Fertility Consciousness.”  You may wonder what this term means and why is it important for you to know and understand as a female. I describe fertility consciousness as a state of mindfulness that is in tune with nature and is in balance within one’s spirit as a woman. It incorporates a holistic approach, connecting body, mind, and spirit, so that women reach their full creative potentials in all areas of life.

Females continually change concentrations of 4 reproductive hormones (Estrogen, Progesterone, Luteinizing Hormone (LH) and Follicle Stimulating Hormone (FSH). These 4 hormones help regulate the menstrual cycle and are controlled by hormones of the limbic-hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenals system, called the HPA Axis. The adrenals, located just above the kidneys, produce excess cortisol during stress and this negatively impacts the ovaries and the immune system.

For women, fertility consciousness is lost in a male-oriented world. Fortunately for women, within the “Me Too Movement,” they have reawakened their fertility consciousness by disempowering misogyny in our society and around the world that remains prevalent today. I say it is about time that women take their power back to be the creative persons they were born to be, by knowing their fertile bodies to not only produce children, but to prevent unwanted pregnancies by natural means.

Girls, when the onset of menses occurs at 10 or 12 or 14, should know that the increase in vaginal mucous discharge may be an indicator of a fertile window that can serve to prevent as well as to promote pregnancies. This education and knowledge should not begin when you are 38 or 40 years old and are diagnosed with infertility. Women should know their bodies and the power that lies within through fertility consciousness.

To give you an example of how I experienced fertility consciousness during my reproductive years, I will tell you my story. I knew I was about 2 months’ pregnant when I began to have vaginal bleeding. It was a knowing I had about my fertile body, because there were no home self-test pregnancy kits to check on your own.  At that time, you had to visit the GYN doctor and get tested there. The office would call you to confirm pregnancy some time later. I had not yet been to the doctor for an examination.

It was my sixth pregnancy. Previous to this, I had 3 miscarriages and a son and daughter. I went to the local ER in a nearby hospital when I noted bleeding. It was a holiday weekend for Columbus Day. A male doctor in the group I visited examined me and told me that I had no signs of pregnancy. “Being pregnant was all in my imagination,” he said. “And the bleeding?” I asked, “What is the cause of that?” The doctor explained that I was just having a bad period. He instructed me to go home and live my normal life. I did not believe the doctor and had my reservations about his opinion. I told him that I am an RN and had personally experienced miscarriages in the past, but to no avail. He dismissed me, and left the room.

I reluctantly walked out of the hospital feeling very crampy, but my children wanted to go to a farm to pick out a pumpkin for Halloween. I gritted my teeth as a trooper/ supermom because I had promised them we would go to the farm that day. There was much traffic along the way, and we got stuck in a jam for an hour. Finally we arrived at the farm, and I rushed to find a pumpkin in the patch while bent over them in intense pain. I felt nauseous and dizzy. Fortunately, we found the perfect pumpkin we could carve, and we went home.

Late into the evening the cramps intensified, although there was no more bleeding. The next morning I woke up and felt better. The cramps had gone, for the most part, and we set out to go to the mall for the holiday sales.  For a moment I thought that the doctor must be right. It was just a bad period after all.

As I was preparing to go out to the mall with my family, I felt intense pressure in my lower abdomen and ran to the bathroom just in time. While hemorrhaging into the toilet, I noticed an embryo floating in the bloodied toilet water that resembled a large round, fuzzy peach ball. I screamed out to my husband, and he came running into the bathroom with the children.

After calming down, I called the doctor. The same ER doctor answered my call and assured me that I was not pregnant and did not have a miscarriage. “There were no signs of pregnancy,“  he reiterated. I told him that there was an embryo (baby) in the toilet, but he did not listen. He instructed me to scoop the material out of the toilet for examination, explaining to me that women drop large pieces of tissue out of their vaginas all the time and think they are pregnant, implying,” How stupid are they!”

I obeyed his order to prove my point. I scooped the “tissue” into a large ricotta cheese container my husband got out of the recycle bin, closed the lid, and brought it to the lab in the hospital. We never got to go to the mall that day. Several days later, on my daughter’s second birthday, I was standing by the stove in my kitchen when the doctor called with the lab report. I can still hear his apologetic voice, saying: “I am sorry Mrs.  Silverstein, the lab report showed that you were pregnant.”

I hung up the phone and tearfully continued to cook the dinner for my daughter’s birthday party. I served her carrots. She vomited them onto her highchair tray. She never liked carrots since then. Every time I empty a ricotta cheese container I unearth the distant memory that is buried deep in the dark soil of the unconscious, and as it rises to the surface of fertility consciousness, I feel a momentary pang.

My advice to women is to listen to your fertile body and to gain fertility consciousness, so you know who you are as procreators in tune with yourselves. Maybe you have your stories. Feel free to share them with others, and each time you do, you reconnect to Mother Earth and to the spirit of your lost one.

 

 

 

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