Like many women in my position, who had 3 miscarriages and was once again pregnant, I was told by doctors, relatives, and friends that I should “just relax” to keep the pregnancy. I knew that there was some modicum of truth in that relaxation would be helpful because I was a nervous wreck, so I sought out the services of a hypnotherapist. The worst time for me was at night because I could not sleep, dreaming that I was bleeding and aborting babies in the bed. In fact, this had actually happened to me. The hypnotherapy sessions helped, along with self-hypnosis and transcendental meditation.
My son, Jason, at 3 months old.
The more I became relaxed and the further the pregnancy progressed, I began to allow myself to envision holding a newborn baby. I started to believe I could achieve my goals, and I persistently supported myself in my endeavor with positive words and images. This was to my advantage, and I was so exuberant on the day of my son’s birth. To this day, I continue to use these tools and skills with success and have refined them not only in my personal life but in my professional life as well.
The Expectant Mind and How it Works
My son, Jason, NCAA All-American
I have been privileged to study hypnotism for the past 24 years, learning from the great works of Mesmer, Coue, Erickson, and others. These skills came in handy when my children were involved in sports activities and the performing arts. They all achieved success. From this, I developed a performance program for athletes.
One of them is called “Winning Ways for Wrestlers,” in which I teach amateur wrestlers how to grapple with life’s challenges and overcome their fears by using the power of their minds. They learn the tools that are research-based and proven effective—the same rudimentary ones I used during my pregnancies, such as self-hypnosis (getting in the zone), mental rehearsal, positive self-talk, and cognitive restructuring. Many of them have become champions and winners in their own right, and I have learned much from them.
The most important concept I learned is that before champions win titles, they must first develop an “Expectant Mind.” This state of mindfulness is the firm belief that they are the winners, even before entering the competition. They claim their right to become champions and follow the step-by-step protocol in my program. Along with this, they develop “mindful toughness” skills to support the contention that they are winners, accomplishing performance goals to reach their peaks. This process builds confidence.
The Expectant Mind: From Baseball to Babies – Broadcast on July 20, 2018
How Does This Relate To Fertility Consciousness?
I would venture to say that most of you have heard of the “placebo effect.” It is often reported in research studies. You are told that a certain pill will cure you, and it does, even though it is made from sugar. What you may not have heard about is the “nocebo effect.” This occurs when you are told that you will not accomplish something, and, as a result, you do not. Think of all the times you were informed that you are infertile and that there is nothing to be done for you. There is no hope. You were treated as a statistic and not as an individual.
Have you ever heard: You have no eggs in reserve and your hormones cannot support a pregnancy? If you believe these diagnoses and predictions and take them to heart, without further consideration, your chances of success are slim to none. What about those who are diagnosed with “unexplained” infertility? The doctors cannot find the root cause so they are left in limbo. What are they to do? The athlete who thinks he is going to lose will increase his chances of failure, for sure. The base hit, the home run, the winning jump shot will never even happen.Well, the same thing can happen to you, and you will be defeated before you begin.
It’s Not Enough To Be Told
It is not enough to be told to relax or to be positive when you have not been exposed to professionally lead, mindful toughness training that will help you through any challenge in life. This is done in harmony with your carefully selected physicians and other healthcare professionals who are aligned with you in your endeavor to balance body, mind, and spirit. But keep in mind, that just as you will seek to find the root cause of your infertility with physical examinations and testing, it is just as important, if not more important, to examine subconsciously who you are and what emotional obstacles may be blocking your way.
In the end, through the use of discernment, self-exploration, and mindful toughness skills, you will possess fertility consciousness. With these tools in hand, you will be in charge of your own decisions about pregnancy, child birth, motherhood, or adoption. And they will feel right to you.
To add to your depth of knowledge and to learn how you, too, can develop an Expectant Mind, please visit the pages under the menu item, My Program. Here you will learn about the elements that comprise my program, Metamorphosis: Fertility Enhancement Coaching.
Thank you for your continued interest.
Video: How To Reach Your Peak Performance Through Fertility Enhancement Coaching
Radio Inteview: How to Turn Errors Into Wins
Radio Interview: Overcoming Trauma With Fertility Enhancement Coaching
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